Superwoman

Spoken Word/Free Verse 

You told me
once upon a time
that you too would grow old
like grandmother
a prisoner of her own body
but you see
I refused
to let those words infect my ear
I refused
to believe it
impossible
you are superwoman
impossible

But now as my belly grows bigger
and your body grows smaller
I understand what those words on my deaf ears
really meant

So I will linger on each fragile moment
loving you

When the desert road seems too endless
and the clouds above your head too thick to push past
when you’ve fallen too far into the well
there I will be with you
with my rope
and my tape
ready to hold you up
or pick you up from your shattered pieces
taping you together
piece by piece
as you did for me

I will be your Dimetapp in the late nights and early mornings
your earl grey tea
with two sugars and one milk in the afternoon
as you were for me

My pancakes and butter will waft through your linen dreams
I will be your “someone”
that doesn’t just give you a shoulder
or a hand
when I know you need a spine

When your rain boots grow holes
I will splash my bare feet alongside yours
as you did with me

My footprints will line the mud beside yours
I will walk by your side
when the days are bright
sharing your butterflies and cherry blossoms
run by your side
when the fire's blaze is too hot to stay
and when the day comes that you can walk no more
mine will be the footprints
carrying yours
as you did for me

But some days, most days
I don’t want to face it
I don’t want it to be true that the day will come
that day
when your body stops dying
and your hugs turn cold

So once again
I lend my deaf ear
to the voices that whisper
tick tock
I bury that truth
because I will not bury you

I don’t want to see the colour on your face flush
the skin beneath your eyes sink into your face
or the fingers that stroked my newborn skin and hair
frozen
in time
always the victim of time

God, can’t you spare a moment or two?
command the sun to walk back a couple steps
tell the hands on the clock to forget about its job
if only the words
in the book of time could be erased
this must be some mistake in the your blueprints
some slight wrinkle in the universe
forgotten to be ironed
a slip in the poet's hand
perhaps an angel sneezed as you were at the drawing table
no
no

Your plan is perfect
I know it

So I will let that day come
when the pills and diapers take over
when your feet can no longer walk themselves
I will be there
to feed you by your favourite spoon
as you once did for me
to comb your thin silver hair
as you once did for me

I guess for now
like the squirrels that scamper the leaf strewn autumn
I will save up your smiles
and rocket blown kisses
and bear hugs
and jellyfish pinches
and Santa Claus laughter
for when the rain comes pouring down on the windowsill
I can take them from the hidden corners of my pocket
and piece together
one by one
what I have left
of your face
your scent
your touch
your voice

So I will linger on each fragile moment
loving you
and loving her
her and her little hands that wrap around my thumb
and pink wrinkled face
with her eyes that haven’t yet learned to open
I will love her
as you did for me